What runs but never walks?
Is your awnser to this question no?
A geek at a bar says "Hey can i get some H2O!" The geek number 2 says "Can i get some H2O too!" They both take a sip, geek number 2 dies. Rest in Chemicals.
For newly married couples, there is a progression of rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering!
WOMEN WITH LITTLE BREASTS... ...don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public ...always look younger ...find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap ...can always see their toes and shoes ...can sleep on their stomachs ...have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars ...know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts ...know that everything more than a handful is wasted ...can come late to a theatre and not disrupt an entire aisle ...can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out.
Two days ago, my friend Peter ran off with my wife.
Oh no, how long have you been friends!
Since two days ago.
Q. Why doesn't Pakistan have an international football team? A. Because each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Wife to Husband :-
You don't Love me at all?.
Husband points towards their 2 Children and says ?
then do u think I've downloaded these from Google?
Rumors are circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy.
Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile?
A: A taxi.
Why does it suck to be a penguin?
Because even when you get angry, you still look cute.
More jokes at: http://www.short-funny.com/clean-jokes.php#ixzz4QGi0XWhg
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