Is there an owl in here?
Two midgets walk into a mini-bar?
WIFE DECIDED TO LOSE WEIGHT
MY WIFE DECIDED TO LOSE WEIGHT.
SHE STARTED GOING TO THE FITNESS CLASSES,POOL AND SINGING LESSONS.
YOU PROBABLY WANT TO ASK:WHY THE SINGING LESSONS
SHE JUST WANT TO MAKE HERSELF AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE,SO SHE DOESN`T HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO EAT.
What?s the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn?t sing when you put chains on it.
Q: What is the difference between northern and southerner fairytales?
A: Northerner starts off with "Once upon a time..." a southerner starts with "listen to this shit..."
April 1, 1995: Spoofing the increasingly complex regulations mandated by the European Economic Community, Polo Mints ("the mint with a hole") ran ads in British papers announcing that "in accordance with EEC Council Regulation (EC) 631/95" they would no longer be producing mints with holes. This regulation supposedly required that all producers of "tubular foodstuffs" delete the holes from their products. To satisfy the regulation, all the existing stock of Polo mints would be supplemented with a "EURO-CONVERSION KIT" containing twenty 7mm "Hole Fillers" to be placed inside each Polo mint. A "detailed instruction leaflet" would also be included.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, ?Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?? The dad replies, ?Why do you want to know, son?? ?Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!?
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!
What is the name of the unauthorised autobiography of the cat?
Hiss and Tell.
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